The
Fido Factor
Positive Dog Training
as a Model for Success in Relationships,
Business, and Self-improvement
by Dog Whisperer
Paul Owens
If
you really want to achieve success in
life, “think dog.” Dogs don't read self-help
books or magazine articles, or watch
infomercials touting the latest money-back,
guaranteed method to attain success.
Yet most dogs are very successful getting
what they want with the least amount
of effort. Although people are occasionally
offended when I mention the similarities
between training their dog and behavior
modification for themselves, the fact
is, the same scientific principles apply.
As
a professional dog trainer with over
30 years experience, I have found that
the secrets of successful dog training
apply just as aptly to improving a golf
game, getting the kids to pick up after
themselves, or getting a spouse off
the couch to go dancing. The same step-by-step
scientific protocols used to teach a
fearful dog to be confident or an aggressive
dog to be non-aggressive can be used
to enhance our relationships with in-laws,
improve our health, get a promotion,
realize fantastic wealth and enjoy passionate
relationships.
There
are two basic methods leading to success.
One approach uses force or the threat
of force or even abuse to claw to the
top. The other approach achieves results
but employs positive methods that are
safer, less stressful, more fun and
more likely to keep everyone motivated
to succeed. And we simply feel better
about ourselves when we treat dogs and
people with kindness rather than force.
Here
are five Fido Factors to help you get
what you really want out of life. Of
course, if you have a dog and employ
these factors, you will also end up
with a happier, better behaved dog.
Fido
Factor # 1: Live In the Moment
Dogs
live in the present and don't waste
energy feeling guilty or thinking about
past transgressions and failures. They
are wonderfully economical in their
use of energy and, as a result, they
pointedly focus on the job at hand.
See the ball, chase the ball, return
the ball. Translation for humans: see
the lawn, mow the lawn, grab a lemonade
and enjoy the beauty of your yard. Or
in my case: think about writing an article,
writing the article, submitting the
article for publication. The direct,
focused approach is an effective way
to be successful.
Fido
Factor # 2: Be Specific
“My
dog knows how to sit, she's just being
stubborn.” I hear this everyday in my
classes. But maybe it's not the dog
who has the problem. In most cases,
the dog simply was never taught to sit
in different situations or contexts.
Dogs
are contextual learners. If you teach
a dog to sit on carpet, it doesn't mean
she'll sit on the tile floor in the
kitchen when you ask. Different flooring
means it's a different context and your
dog needs to be taught that “sit” means
sit on the tile floor as well as the
carpet. It's like meeting someone at
a party and then, when you see her two
weeks later at the supermarket, not
remembering her right away because she
is casually dressed and has two children
in tow. After meeting this person a
few times in different situations or
contexts, you can recognize her no matter
how she is dressed or who accompanies
her.
Success,
whether in dog training or in business
or relationships, starts with visualizing
and feeling contextual goals.
Detailed visualization unleashes an
emotional connection with your goal.
Want ice cream? Well, yes, but that's
not very specific. What ice cream brings
you the most joy? How about two scoops
of cherries jubilee ice cream in a chocolate-dipped
waffle cone? Want a relationship? Better
be specific as to your partner's ethics,
wealth, health, spiritual affiliation,
and sense of humor. Remember the Fido
Factor aphorism: “You get what you ask
for… or forget to ask for.”
Fido
Factor # 3: Develop a Step-By-Step Plan
with Realistic Goals
After
visualizing your goal, now it's simply
a matter of formulating and implementing
a step-by-step strategy to reach that
goal. While it's important to reach
for the stars, the steps to the stars
have to be realistic. It isn't realistic
to expect a rambunctious adolescent
Jack Russell terrier to stay put while
a squirrel is running by. That would
be akin to behavioral reliability at
a college level. It's well beyond his
abilities. Instead, you have to teach
the puppy step-by-step and grade-by-grade
to achieve the reliability you are looking
for.
Every
successful plan builds upon a vision,
which is reached by small, incremental
successes. Short, focused and frequent
sessions are better than spending long
hours spinning your wheels. Successful
plans call for consistency and persistence,
while at the same time allowing for
creative flexibility and an occasional
tweaking of the process.
Fido
Factor # 4: Learn to Relax and Go with
the Flow
If
you expect your dog to exhibit controlled
behavior, it helps to be in control
of yourself first. People are surprised
that I teach them breathing techniques
in my dog training classes and on my
DVD, The Dog Whisperer. But
once they practice a few relaxation
breaths, the results speak for themselves.
They are calmer, more focused and training
becomes easier for them and their dog.
A
person's breathing patterns can actually
become signals to a dog, whose senses
are much more acute than ours. The short
staccato breaths of an angry person
can trigger the dog's fight-freeze-or-flight
syndrome. The slow rhythmic breathing
of a relaxed person can help soothe
and quiet an anxious dog. We humans
have the same reactions. Ever notice
how we give a wide birth to humans or
dogs whose body language suggests aggression?
Or how comfortable we feel around people
who radiate a relaxed, peaceful demeanor?
Moods are reflected by one's breath
and subconsciously understood by others.
People
tend to breathe differently depending
on their moods and emotions. For example,
we often hold our breath while waiting
for something to happen, we have shallow
breathing when we are stressed, and
we tend to take longer, slower breaths
when we are relaxed. As powerful as
proper breathing is, it is the last
thing most people think about when they
come into a dog training class or try
to solve one of life's many challenges.
A
full breath oxygenates blood and energizes
every cell in your body, which also
enhances your awareness of what's going
on around you. Conscious controlled
breathing can also be a powerful tool
to help you relax lower stress and improve
concentration. With practice, a minute
or two of a breathing exercise is all
that it takes to relax you—and even
the people around you.
If
you relax and focus your energy through
breathing exercises, people and animals
around you will tend to mirror your
attitude. You are in control. Your confidence
projects a sense of leadership. Coupled
with a vision, a step-by-step plan and
steadfast resolve, success is assured.
[See
"HOW TO PRACTICE
THE “EASY BREATH” below]
Fido
Factor # 5: Choose Supportive Environments
and Attitudes
The
environment we choose to place ourselves
in directly impacts our success. A dog
won't learn how to fetch and retrieve
a ball if the park is filled with dozens
of other dogs and people running around.
There are too many distractions. The
best place to begin to teach a dog to
fetch is alone in your back yard or
in another less distracting environment.
Or, better still, join a class where
interruptions are controlled and everyone
is focused on fetching. All the better
if the instructor has brought along
his own dog who demonstrates an expertise
in fetching.
Just
as it is easier to teach a dog to fetch
in a fetch-conducive environment, so
too it is easier to lose weight with
other motivated dieters, stop smoking
by keeping company with nonsmokers,
and become rich by rubbing elbows with
financially successful people.
Attitude
is also a key Fido Factor. Dogs respond
to leadership. Dogs respond to playfulness.
Dogs respond to affection. Dogs follow
someone who displays an air of absolute
control. When working with aggressive
dogs, a professional trainer must exhibit
an attitude of confidence that is absolute,
even if they are only acting. Leaders
in all walks of life act confident to
keep morale high, instill motivation
and model a sense of purpose.
Success
is attained when confidence permeates
every atom of one's being Put yourself
in an environment where success is likely
and mingle with those who have already
succeeded and you will resonate with
success.
So
remember Fido's game plan: live in the
moment, be specific about what you want,
develop a step-by-step plan, learn to
relax, and choose a supportive environment
and attitude. These are the tools that
positive dog trainers use to set up
their clients, both human and canine,
for success. And when problems arise,
addressing them with unquenchable optimism
allows them to simply become opportunities
for success. Positive dog trainers have
a saying, “Correct the problem, not
the dog.” With that attitude, everything
becomes a tail-wagging game -and that's
the greatest Fido Factor of them all!
HOW
TO PRACTICE THE “EASY BREATH”
The
ancient body-mind system of yoga gives
us literally hundreds of breathing methods.
This particular one uses nostril breathing.
Three
things are required for the “easy breath”:
- The
breath must be relaxed and not be
strained
- The
breath must be equally measured during
inhalation and exhalation (e.g. three
seconds in, three seconds out).
- There
should be no “holds” at the top or
bottom of the breath. In other words,
make the transitions at top and bottom
gentle and continuous.
Ideally,
this breathing method is done through
the nose with the mouth closed. If you
cannot breathe in and out through your
nose, don't worry about it. Just do
the best you can.
You
can do three or four breaths whenever
you remember: while driving, watching
television, when you wake up and before
you go to bed. The more you practice,
the better the results. Easy breathing
oxygenates your blood and energizes
every cell in your body.
As
you continue to practice, you'll be
able to extend your inhalation and exhalation.
This will happen automatically and naturally.
Within a few days or weeks you'll be
able to comfortably breathe in and out
for ten to twenty seconds or more. However,
length of time is not of primary importance…increasing
your depth of concentration and relaxation
is. The length will take care of itself.
How
can you sharpen your awareness and improve
reaction time? How can you facilitate
the learning? How can you reduce stress
for yourself and those around you? And
how can you improve your health, concentration
and creativity? Breathe.
How
you feel affects your breath. Fortunately
the reverse is also true: your breath
affects how you feel AND you ability
to perform. Changing your breath pattern
changes the way you feel and, therefore,
how you respond to others and what you
do. Thus, your own breathing patterns
can actually affect the way people around
you feel and what they may or may not
do. Before sports, before a business
conference or presentation, before talking
to your significant other and before
you go to bed, take just a minute or
two to focus on your breathing.
The
key to relaxation is to listen to yourself
breathe. As an experiment, gently close
your ears and listen to familiarize
yourself with the sound. Then consciously
relax your breath more and more. With
practice you'll get better and better
until you'll eventually be able to relax
at will. You, your friends and your
family, both dogs and humans, will benefit.
About the
Author:
Paul
Owens
Author: The Dog Whisperer DVD and the
book: The Dog Whisperer,
A Compassionate Nonviolent Approach
to Dog Training
Certified by The Association of Pet
Dog Trainers
Endorsed by the National Association
of Dog Obedience Instructors
Director: Raise with Praise, Inc. Dog
training
www.DogWhispererDVD.com
